Run

Run Jokes

Covid

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

Skin

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

Sandpaper

Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!

Cat

There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!

Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!

This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.

Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,

He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!

I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!

Meanwhile...

there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....

Easy pickings...

Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,

DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!

Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie

The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...

LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...

every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)

WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx

Bellybutton

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

Crackhead

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

Kid

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Grass

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Orphan

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

Speed Bump

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

Race

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Cop

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

Hippo

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

Difference

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know how to hit a home run.