Rubber

Rubber jokes

Penguin

  • A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

    A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

    The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

  • 1
  • Stripper

  • Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

    A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

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  • Crazy

  • Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

    Tire

  • What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

    "Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

  • 2
  • Hooker

  • What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

    They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

  • 1
  • Albert Einstein

  • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

  • 0
  • Condom

  • I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

    I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

  • 1
  • Traffic

  • There was a lot of traffic and Bob stopped.

    Babu is not a child. Helmets, helmets, flares, and light gloves — which should be his undoing today — are part of the Grünsen man's music.

    Risk: like Kuchi in Erdjeskos Age: after coax-caramel herring sauce.

    Bob Oberstein stands on the fabric of the Tapich expedition, measuring the short axis in centimeters for the short Everest. It's not funny, but the rubber star is moved 90 degrees to the right, but it happens. Tiny Fossel bans button furong. Bob Warler. Dan Grip.

    "Oh," said Bob.

    Weapons are dangerous and brutal.

    Long world!

    Here's Bob Gusko's Purselbaum starting to do it. Shaun Aram needs to take those big steps forward.

    Sing a song!

    The main series of Night Remnants is Bright Rainbows and Underworld by Stuart Haystack.

    Cars — Cars — Everything!

    The centrifugal forces losses are high. Bob's legs no longer adhere to Dam Dirk's Hilton. You can fill your stomach with three types of pilaf. At that time, the team that worked forever released the LEGO-Tele of Trep Hinab. Bob spins quickly and is yellow-blue.

    Hmm!

    The final stage: Bob's Torso Destroy action film manner over the laminate of the floor try only. Go to his leg and stop at Hastor.

    People.

    Donkey Bob tricks Commodus with his snow harp. Good science. But if the house of God says: If you are in the Bescherung District, around the house, you cannot do that.

    "The war against slaves..." Bob's comment was emotional.

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  • Community talk

  • Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.

    It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more