New Rubber Jokes

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They’re draining the economy doooown!

They’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They have no moralityyyy.

They’re spreading degeneracy.

We ain't what we used to be.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill!

They’ve banked off buying boooze!

They’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice.

Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Their kids’re in the business tooo!

They’re draining all our banks.

Give 'em well deserved spanks.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common? When the rubber snaps they both end up in the shit! 💩

i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out

What's The Difference Between A Rubber And Micheal Jackson? Nothing, Kids Tounch Them Both.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.