New Roman Jokes

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Is it just me or can I see the Roman Empire.... From how far back your hairline goes

The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!

"Julius Caesar" isneezer

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

why did the romans build stright roads so the pachy bastards didny build corner shops

If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?

Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!

Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

"Peter, Peter come to me!"

So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"