Robot jokes
Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
What do you call a bored robot?
A “sigh”-borg.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
What happens when the terminator pees?
Gasoline descent.
U die from robot bite.