The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
Muslim furries like goats.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Electricity.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
