My dad And I were fishing one day
That’s where he met my step mom
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
who wanna be my boyfriend
Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.
I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text
Welcome for the rhyme
When ariana grande broke up with pete she said she has on less problem with out you.
To Tina: hi Love, your my oldest, and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live: I luvv you so much, my sweetest dearest darling.
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friends house after hooking up. "Was it hung?" her friend asks. "No he was shot."
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
Gwen I want my boy friend back!
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole".
The ass replied, "yes, but you still keep coming".
What does A say to ss?
We are the perfect couple. We make Ass.
Gwen lets chat at night for ab 1 hour! I want to get to know eachother better!
p.s its jake
What is the difference between a rock and my gf. One is rock hard and the other is Dwayne Johnson
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds
quin loves robin all he says is robin this isnt a joke quins gay
Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
I always say im single, which annoys my wife.
Man: Hey siri! Siri: Yes? Man: Im desperate, will you marry me? Siri: Uh... *phone literally explodes*
