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in War

Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?

to do list


I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Hi Charlie, i know your website
in Emo

What type of people have the record of most amount of stories read? Emos, their still in the air

in Emo

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

in Disappointment

Why are people disapoinments,Because you are reading this

《 rmk 》

Why do horny deaf girl wear right pants? So you can read her lips.

in Woman

What is doing a woman with an empty sheet?

Reading her rights!

in Dark Humor

41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

42. I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.

43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

44. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

45. What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers.

46. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

in Dark Humor

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

23. My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

25. A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

26. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

27. The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.


9/11 hahahahaha Lawrence I hope you read this


its rly funny read through everything slowly say im a man after everything i say. I went to the bar. "Im a man" you saw this woman. "Im a man" you guys married. 'Im a man' you guys bought a house. 'im a man' you guys went to bed. "im a man" you said. "im a man" she said. "im a man"

best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-

in Computer

What is the biggest lie ever? I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading.Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships. It's a sad state of affairs.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”