Read jokes
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Make him read a book.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
Read my name.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
Read the name.
Joke: It felt good going through those Twin Towers!
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!