New Read Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

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The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books.. Instead they got dozens of Magazines.

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

Knock knock. Who's there ? Steven. Can't you read it says No Hawking.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

I read a quote about the twin towers that hit me like a plane

How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes it's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them or even a place to charge them even if they did have 1

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why?

Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

What do cannibals read?

People.

Digest Readers.

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

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