Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported
The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
why do police never put an orphan in prison's it's to much like a home
Elmo- welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia
dude- why are we close to Disneyland.
kid- I don't know. Elmo- rule 1 you must not tell the afforests or Bob Iger about us.
meanwhile Officer- come on Elmo you're going to prison. *Officer arrests Elmo* Elmo- But who wants Tickels.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
BecUse they wanna be wanted
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
why did the prisoner run away? to spit bars
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
A wise man once told me: 'If you poke the bear in prison The bear will happily return the favour, when its times to shower'
I ran into a kid today now im in jail and i lost ma drivers license
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS????
(doesnt have bossbar)
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison? How rare they are.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
Pridaughter
How do you know when a football player has been to jail? When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Our soon to be ex Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims He should fund proctologists too cause he'll likely need both after prison.
