Prayer jokes

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.

Lettuce pray.

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."