Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Politician Jokes
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Putin's Brain:
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
