Planet

Planet Jokes

Which planet would I consider dating?

I don’t know, but not Saturn cause she’s already got a ring on her

Why has nobody been on neptune? because the wind is so big and why the winds so big? because neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!

Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)

stop looking at my ass i said look at uranus (guy 2) im looking at ur anus (guy 1) I SAID URANUS LIKE THE PLANET (guy 2) ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

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Teacher: what’s the closest planet. Kids yell: sun. Except for one. Other kid: Uranus. Teacher: Uranus? Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my Anus?"