Pick Jokes

The Man: "Sonny why do you come to get some milk every day?" The Son: "Because , milk is important." The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?" The Boy: "Who?" The Man: "Your mom?" The Boy: "I don't have a mom." The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss." The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy .

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

sans why did you buy that pillow zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz grhrh SANS YOU F//K YOU WAKE THE F//K UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP FRISK COMES TO THE ROOM AND ./. YOU TELL PAPyrus wwhatt hapen hhhuh humaan heeheheheh sans dint picck up his soock so i ppunish him sans egjf

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked. Lel I hope you guys like this joke

I am a racist and i put my milk before cereal...well, to be honest that was when i had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some...then he left. Now when i see a black guy, I yell "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt"

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tieing them up

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose but you can't pick your friends noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why do orphans love tornadoes because they always pick you up

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.” “I do.” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

I was reading a book one day, when I suddenly hear a sound. It was the grim reaper. I ignore it and continue reading my book. Suddenly I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies. I used to like fireworks. But I'm dead now. Fireworks like a charm, if you don't mind something a little ghostly. What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"