people's lives jokes

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???

A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.

boss: "We have to let you go."

surgeon: "I protest innocence."

boss: "How?"

surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

boss: "Get out!"

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

Homeless people live on rocks.

Non-homeless people live in rocks.

Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"

I'm dying to live forever!