Peanut

Peanut Jokes

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

Hey, do you like nuts? try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* its a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* we got cashues peanuts wallnuts! And its called deez nuts! *slam dunk* try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! Its a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

Friend: what are you doing me: putting peanut butter on my balls. Friend hears in the distance, orphans I have food for you

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when penaldo appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but I said "no pens for you". And “brentford”.He cried and ran away. Shame on you penaldo the fraud.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well, there's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my off it.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.