Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Yo mama so stupid she tried to smell her own nose
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
YO mama so fat she has her own gravity
But she so ugly people are repelled by her
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
