Overeating jokes
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?
Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?
P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.