What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
One Jokes
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
