A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks "did you get her number?". He replies "no, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion"
One day little johnny went to his grandma's house and she asks "do you like nuts" and little johnny says "yes i like nuts" and his grandma says "okay then grab them out of the cabinet" so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says "whats wrong?" little johnny says "i thought they were real nuts." and his grandma fainted.
Cesar: What was that good salad called? Servant: Ceaser, Cesar. Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like? Servant: Hail, Cesar Cesar: yes I know Hail Cesar but I need to know what the weathers like! Servant: Well its hail, Cesar. Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it but when I use her body when I feel like it I am the bad guy?
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone. Son: Okay, I'll do it! 5 hours later... Son: I'm done! Dad: I lied. Son: So did I!
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
“Okay guys, watch very carefully because i can only show you this demonstration once.”
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Okay what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer
hey you person who's scrolling, pls leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh its okay." etc it can be short if you dont want to then that's okay.
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!! Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
giveaways.com/fortnite-card-9283
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs
It's okay you had socks on :)
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
