Off jokes
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Where's your off button?
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
Memes
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.