When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Off Jokes
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
