Off jokes
Get off of here, kids!
I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
Memes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
I'm ticked off by this tick joke!
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.