Off jokes
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He turned off the Wi-Fi.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
Memes
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.
He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.