Off jokes

What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?

He Neverland.

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A. His mom threw an oven at him.

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"

"It's a girl."

I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.