Off jokes

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

What does a bear beat off with?

His bear hands.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Susie!"

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

Have they tried switching him off and on again?

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.