I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Off Jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
I love jumping off cliffs.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?
Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
