Not jokes

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)