Not jokes

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

What milk do orphan babies drink?

Not their mom's, though.

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.

The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

"We are trans. We are Gay. We are lesbian. We are Bi."

We Do Not Care.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.

Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.

After a while, a student stands up.

Teacher: So you think you are stupid?

Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Roses are red, that much is true.

But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!