Next Jokes

friend: i have the eye of the tiger me: so what i have the balls of a gorilla parents: we cant come back to the zoo next week

there was once a jenie with a 10 foot weenie and he showed it to the neighbores next door they thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake now its only 6.4ft

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next RHYME

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR" and "I'm gay!"

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

A person went to tell a joke: Knock knock! Who’s there? I don’t remember! (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now) I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop. The man asked for some crack The woman turned around and said, 'here.' That's where the crack was. you guessed it.

The next day she wiped it clean ready for the next guest who 'wanted crack' ;)

dad: My kid just said butch but since he is a kid he said a bad word on accident *the next day* uncle: F*CK

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said,"Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?". After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear

I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed

Hey gwen next time youre online can you go to son jokes i commented back to you and portory

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :)

-Dark_Humor

why is 10 afraid

because he next to 9 and 11