Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
Worst Jokes Ever
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!
You shall feel ashamed of yourself!
Take the L! - Losers
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Tyler's hairline is so bad.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
