So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
