Worst Jokes Ever

My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.

I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.

My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?

A: A few weeks.

"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.