Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What color is a burp?
Burple!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.