Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

I play Fortnite, but also I play Minecraft for 14 nights.

Your joke: you.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

What would an orphan ask for Christmas?

"A someone."

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim.

Boy Scout...

- A kid who dressed like an idiot.

- An idiot who dressed like a kid.

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.

1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.

Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)

Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).

Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...

You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.

I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."

Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.

So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."