Worst Jokes Ever
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"