I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What is a magic school?
A school that can fly.
What has a dog?
People.
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
I am glass! People see right through me.
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
