Worst Jokes Ever
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Burger King got Dairy Queen pregnant during sex, cause he forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What flowers are on your face?
You're so ugly!
I for the class?
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Pictures of the people commenting.
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)