Worst Jokes Ever
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."