Your forehead is so big I could land a jet plane on it.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
What do you call a dwarf with autism Matthew Michal?
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" "of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms"
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What do Sloths and depressed people have in common? They bot hang from the tree
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
Curry.
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?
#Imbored
what's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
i don't know I have both
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
