Worst Jokes Ever
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Yo hairline is so bad, it is worse than Vegeta's.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
Hairline got repossessed.
Does breath smell like 🍑?
His hairline doing the moonwalk. Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t even have a hairline.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.