My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
I think I need to kiss your butt.
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.
