Necrophilia

Necrophilia Jokes

Girl

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.

Question

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Rip

What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?

Raped in Portugal!

Man

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Necrophiliac

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

Sex

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

Pedophile

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

Girlfriend

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

Death

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

Wife

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Crush

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

Wife

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

Friend

A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

"Was it hung?" her friend asks.

"No, he was shot."