Necessity jokes
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Life is all that matters.
You're really...
It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.
frshfry we need to talk now!
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
When your mom pulls the "I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, I put a roof over your head" card.
Community talk
why is daylight savings necessary? like what does a time change do to benefit us cus all it does for me is make it dark early and ruin my sleep schedule
WHERES MY BABY OIL?!?!?!?!?!
Lock eyes from across the room Down my drink while the rhythms boom Take your hand and skip the names No need here for the silly games Make our way through the smoke and crowd The club is the sky, and I'm on your cloud Move in close as the lasers fly Our bodies touch and the angels cry Leave this place, go back to yours Our lips first touch outside your doors A whole night, what we've got in store Whisper in my ear t… Read more