Name jokes
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Ethan Rice
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Hi, I'm Bob.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?
My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”
So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"
The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"