Nah jokes

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

Son goat: No, what?

Dad goat: Goat meat.

Son goat: *Gasps*

Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

Wanna hear the car joke?

Nah, it's too fast for you.

Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

A pair of gloves!

Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

I have some jokes about popcorn.

Nah, they're too corny.

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."

Nah, it's a penis.

Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.