Nah jokes

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

A pair of gloves!

Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.

Orphans are really out here taking selfies.

Nah bro, that's a family photo.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."