they killed a whole family of crows.. it was a murder!... they killed a bunch of ravens..what a conspiracy!!
I like my oreos how I like my victims.... Drowning
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
"And then I said KNIFE to meet you."
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in STABle condition!"
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
When your mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone good times
I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
murder murder suicide by police
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over? a corpse of course!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
Do [or "Oh, do"] you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes [or "Oh, yes"], I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What's the smartest crime? 3rd degree murder.
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
