Mum

Mum Jokes

Mom

Kid: Are you gay?

Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

Dad

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

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  • School

    The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

    I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

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  • Mama

    Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!

    Family

    Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

    Mum?

    Mum?

    Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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  • Mama

    Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!

    Man

    Two mums hook up!

    Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"

    The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!

    Penis

    My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.

    Mother

    An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

    Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

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  • Incest

    Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

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