Movie

Movie Jokes

Family

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Orphan

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

Emo

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

Batman

I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!

Tank

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Mom

Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.

Titanic

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

Thanos

What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.

Stereotype

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?

Alien vs. Predator.

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  • Popcorn

    Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

    Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

    Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

    Orphan

    Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

    Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

    Michael Jackson

    There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

    Mama

    Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.

    Lightsaber

    Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

    Mama

    Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!