The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard. A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye. Moments later they start chanting 13...13...13...
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "
(Me) Hey bro tell me a joke! (My friend) Your mom *Starts Laughing* (Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him* At this moment he knew he fucked up.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" >The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, " Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I ***KNEW*** that damn thing had wheels!"
that moment when the disabled kid has to take the pacertest
the moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice but then you realize that you have headphones it.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
The moment when your to depressed to fantacize about death. - its so tiring
That moment when you poop 😂
Family guy funny moments
It was a important knockout game for Al Nassr 🔥 I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play, It was my dream for a long time 🤩 I took a cab to the stadium but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead 😔 As soon as I entered the house I saw a ghost☠️ but the very next moment I realized its my idolo Ronaldo 🥳 Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me 😭♥️
I have more std’s then Hicks has friends at the moment I only have 1
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
The moment when you throw the nut away ans try to eat the shell.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment Icecreamed