Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school. “Dad I got an F in Geography class!” “Why is that?” “The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building’” Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ”
St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
Gambler
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes
At school this gurl was like u ugly and I'm like gurl ur mirror cracks the moment u step in front of it
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing Pin the tail on the donkey? Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
When I'm chilling and a little kid runes my moment
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when got given birth too
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment she starts to roll over, and in the process she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her. Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk The dad finally came back with the milk