Minecraft jokes
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?
Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
What do you call a bacon from Chernobyl?
Technoblade!
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
My anus smells.
What do you call a black person swimming? Cursed Minecraft image.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
What would you call a Spanish Notch?
El Notch-o.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.