Minecraft jokes

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

How did Technoblade actually die?

He got stabbed!

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!

What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?

The Enderman.

Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?

Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

END!

Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

Axe it's head, axe it's head.

Axe it's head, defeat him.

SUBSCRIBE!!!

Villager: KNOCK KNOCK

Steve: Who's there?

Villager: I'm not talking anymore.

Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

I would like to make a Minecraft joke...

It would be too plain.

Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!

Technoblade!

Please tell me you understand this...

Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?

A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!